How to Inject Kindness in Our lives

As one of his lifelong friends, Bob Smith stated, “I do not recall that Sandy ever made me mad in all these years. Actually, I do not recall that he ever made anyone mad… he’s still one of the good ones!”

Growing up in small town Ontario, he learned to play drums in the local pipe band that included other family members. Sandy, enveloped by the love of music at home, became increasingly self-taught in the world around him.

My personal example of his kindness to help anyone in need is something I’ll always remember.

We ‘old guys’ from the rocking 60’s were trying to get the original band back together. Unfortunately, two of the original players had passed, but we were told that “our drummer was still alive”, but we were unable to locate him.

However, Bob – an all-round nice guy himself – passed along our sad situation to Sandy. Bob says, “I did not ask Sandy to help your Tempos. I told of your predicament and gave him your contact info… no pressure. The rest was down to his inability to say no to someone in need.

For us, no drummer meant no gig… plus, we had family and friends coming! So, when I found out this wasn’t an ordinary drummer – per his induction into the Forest City London Music Awards (Jazz drummer of the year) – we were so intimated.

We needn’t have been. With only one practice, we knew we were in good hands. I mean this guy, who we never met before, could “play anything!” Needless to say his presence made us all sound good!

Over the years, I’m still learning to appreciate the various nuances of Jazz… the main thing being improvisation, as typified by

Nancy Wison/Cannonball Adderley

Today, he continues to introduce so many wonderful performers to the public. For example, he’s hosted a radio jazz program as aired by Fanshawe College, London.

Plus, along with the financial support of the local musicians union, he hosts, organizes and performs at the long running ‘Jazz For the People’ concert series – with free public performances (usually monthly) for about four decades, now.

Of course, there are some people who will tell you that “nice” people (kind, reliable) never win vs. bad people (selfish, aggressive). Verifiable scientific studies actually show that both “bad” and “good” people end up about the same. As an Internist friend of mine said, just months before dying from cancer, “It comes down to dumb luck.”

“A few years ago, Bob asked Sandy if he had any regrets. He said, “Yes, I’ve got plenty, Smitty.” Bob imagined in this case, that his regrets are for things that he didn’t do, or perhaps “could have done better.” I’m sure we can all relate to these feelings… as other psych-experts show that good guys are winners already.

So, thanks again Sandy, for ‘all that jazz’… and in the process, injecting such a high level of kindness. Without this generosity of spirit in my life, I would be forever lost.

Fred Parry / Bob Smith

Photo Credit

Image by flockine from Pixabay

First published at fredparry.ca

Guest Author Bio
Fred Parry

Fred Parry lives in Southern Ontario. He is a lover of people and a collector of stories, music, wisdom, and grandchildren. His raison d’etre? “I’m one of those people who believe that if my work serves the common good, it will last; if not, it will die with me. I still believe that’s true.” Fred spent ten years as a columnist for Metroland Media Group – a division of the publishing conglomerate Torstar Corporation.